Mamma's Love Drug

Fireflies and Candles;
I have both in jars in my room.
An aqua flame against neon green light
Why does it have to be so soon?
A little boy, he died that day
Taken fresh from mother's womb.
So why did they make stay anyway
Locked away in his room?

They chain me with words and drugs,
They say it helps them cope.
I do it for my benefit,
Because they won't love me if I don't.

Mother can't you love me for me,
Or do the pills make you see
That little boy you always wanted me to be?
Mamma, I'm so sorry.

I hate the way these pills change my mind
I'm always on the low.
Thoughts of pain and suicide,
Or maybe just hitting the road.
Its like I'm trapped in my own head,
Contained by brick and mortar.
Mamma, it just doesn't feel right
That you've shut in all my light.

Another dose of apathy,
It makes my world so gray.
You tell this ghost you love me,
While I rattle on its chains.

I'm so sorry that I can't be
This picture of a better man.
I didn't think I was hurting anyone...
But I'm not hurting anymore.


Mamma are you proud?
Look at what I am.
I'm a lonely fire bug
Burning up what I am.
Have you ever burned a needle,
and then stuffed it deep inside?
I do that Mamma, and do you know why?
Because it forces me to cry.

No Joy, no rage, no sadness,
No excitement and no fear.
Nothing but this emptiness
With all these things so near.
Out of sight, out of mind
Its all well and good for the blind.

But mamma, these aren't those pills,
Just the ones that help you love me.
No mother this is the future.
Because you couldn't make time to help me,
My children too will pay the fine.
Mamma, mamma why?